Room 101
09/12/2024
Room 101 is a BBC comedy television series based on the radio series of the same name, in which celebrities are invited to discuss their pet hates and persuade the host to consign those hates to oblivion in Room 101, a location whos name was inspired by the torture room in George Orwell's 1949 novel Nineteen Eighty-Four which contained "the worst thing in the world".
Being the ever-annoyed group that they are, the Editors of the SOAS Spirit have themselves curated a non-exhaustive list of things they would ban from SOAS. If you have anything you'd like to see banned from SOAS, please send any submissions to spirit@soas.ac.uk
Self-hating SOAS Students:
Among the diverse SOAS student body exists a curious sub-group: the self-hating SOAS students. They are SOAS students just like any other, but are deeply embarrassed about that fact. They’ll assure you that they had plans of going to university elsewhere :Cambridge, LSE, St Andrews for the most self-aggrandizing amongst them - but that those plans fell through for some reason or another. They might also insist on the fact that they had never even heard of SOAS before they saw it in clearing. Unlike the rest of us dirty activist types doing fake degrees like Anthropology or Gender studies; they do sensible degrees like Law and Accounting. But no matter what they may tell themselves, at least we will not be spending 3 years being bitter ***** with nothing better to do than winge.
Every Third SOAS Student
The thing I would ban from SOAS is every third SOAS student, without qualification. The SOAS student body is one of the most irritating, hair-pulling, obnoxious gaggles of arseholes that exists in academia. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you actively enjoy the presence of every grubby, self-righteous little turd that speaks in your tutorials, and frankly decimating the student body would most likely remove a good chunk of the irritating people. There are far too many potential different categories of SOAS student that might cause irritation, and if we were to only ban: the activist types, or the finance-bros, the anime fans or the entire BA Social Anthropology course- we’d still not be able to weed out every SOAS student worthy of banning. At least by removing every one in every three of the little shits, we might be able to make a good head start.
Library Heaters
Personally I would ban the heaters in the library because why are they set to around 35 degrees celsius every single day of the week? It is basically like a desert there and I have lived in the UK my whole life so I love a good winge about the weather, but never did I ever think I would have to complain about the library sub-climate. Talk about rising temperatures…the library has clearly been hit hard by global warming because why is this year so much worse? I swear all of our fee money is being pumped into the library heating, the costs must be extortionate. Please can everyone bring deodorant as well, because the mixture of the heat and multiple floors being closed means the library is pretty cramped and cosy. If we all bring deodorant we can counteract the smell of the library together <3 -but maybe someone should just ask them to turn the heating down.
Nike Tech Fleece Tracksuit
The Nike Tech Fleece tracksuit is a pure abomination and should be banned from being worn on campus, effective immediately! It pains me everytime I see a flash of grey with a black tick. Whoever designed this criminal set of clothing should be put in prison without the possibility of parole. I feel truly sorry for anyone who is forced to witness this vile tracksuit in public- We attend university, not secondary school. Grow up. This fit is not giving Zone 1. Instead, it gives Zone 5 Croydon. The idea of someone willingly stepping out of their house wearing a Nike Tech is hilarious;please do everyone a favour and throw it away. It will 100% benefit the rest of society.
Walking Boots
Well all utility clothing, and the fact that all so called marxists at SOAS insist on wearing it. There are no discernible reasons to come dressed for the Duke of Edinburgh Award at a University in Bloomsbury yet, they all insist on doing it. Toggled shoes, trousers with detachable legs so that they can become shorts. The only explanation I’ve ever heard for all this carry on is that they just remain prepared for the revolution; should it start during a mid-morning tutorial but, even that's nonsense.
I don’t profess to have the greatest understanding of Marxist literature but I think I’d remember if part way through Das Kapital it said “workers of the world, wear craghoppers”.
For all their good intentions, it is simply impossible to give credit to an economic argument made by someone dressed as a divorced geography teacher.
BSc Management
Who in their right mind looked at SOAS, the School of Oriental and African Studies, and thought ‘ah yes, a BSc Management programme would fit right in here’? There are a plethora of reasons why this degree is ludicrous, but I shall look at two. For starters: how on earth is SOAS, a university whose administration and management facilities crumble like dry mud at the slightest, tiny, weeeny bit of pressure, a sound and viable institution to teach Management in any shape or form? I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t exactly scream ‘efficient business model’ to me. Secondly, and maybe more importantly, who are these deluded, boring, loud finance bros who decided to enrol? And why are they everywhere? You see them dotted around the stairs in the courtyard between classes, in their little groups of all black outfits. They’re like a bizarre, misfitting subculture, or a strange growth, that’s probably benign but very annoying. What brought them to SOAS? Do they have secret sympathies with decolonising campaigns or Just Stop Oil? Do they teach some kind of alternative forward thinking Management program I don’t know about? Or was it the low entry requirements of the SOAS application? Either way, their cliquey, closed off, LinkedIn obsessed attitudes stand out like a sore thumb, and I’d really rather prefer they took their judgemental gazing somewhere else.
