Why Dating Shows are Problematic
Sophia-fai Roche, BA Social Anthropology and Global Development.
Unfortunately for the singletons out there, cuffing season is upon us. The Christmas season has a funny way of unearthing all the happy couples, as they post pictures of their hot chocolates at Winter Wonderland and their cute matching pyjamas on Christmas day. Gone is the old fashion stereotypical love story where people meet at school or work. Now we have something much more unnerving, dating shows.
The dating show mania is one of great strength, from ‘Too Hot to Handle’ to ‘Love is Blind’ and the infamous ‘Love Island’; we are inundated with singletons going on national tv on a quest to find love. But at what cost? Studies have found that these intoxicating shows have a skewed impact on our cognitive development when it comes to how we define, look for, and act when in love. Love Island is notorious for attracting criticism for its toxic masculinity, abusive behaviour, and lack of diversity depicted across our screens. The 2022 Love Island debut attracted an impressive five million viewers, exhibiting their chokehold on the nation being one of its greatest strengths. More worryingly, the actions depicted on the show have real-life ramifications and, unfortunately, are not addressed enough.
“When young adults see certain behaviours being rewarded, they are likely to act similarly”
An article published in 2013 by researcher Michael Milmine regarding the impact dating shows have on young adults’ behaviour explained that,‘When young adults see certain behaviours being rewarded, they are likely to act similarly.’ This raises alarm bells for critics of these shows as much of the behaviour exhibited fits into toxic and abusive characteristic traits. In the 2018 season of Love Island, one contestant, Adam Collard, came under heat for his apparent emotionally abusive behaviour towards his partner Rosie Williams. The encounter was so alarming that Women’s Aid had to step in and publish a statement regarding the situation. These dating shows are framed within the normative heterosexual standard whilst assimilating emotional abuse within relationships. Social cognitive theory shows us that we learn behaviour by mimicking what we see. If viewers witness toxic behaviour on TV and then mimic this in their own lives, it has the potential to become very dangerous and further perpetuate toxic masculinity and abusive behaviour in the real world.
In the 2019 season of the show, contestant Maura Higgins fell victim to the sexual double standard that the show enables. Miss Higgins was overtly sexually confident, which goes against the status quo of the passive persona that women are expected to obtain. Her openness regarding the topic of sex landed her in an unfortunate situation with her partner, Tom Walker. Mr Walker made a vile remark about her, to which she was offended, but when she addressed the comment, the boys in the villa gaslighted her and labelled the comment as just ‘banter’. Love Island enables a damaging double standard that subscribes to women being passive and unable to speak about their sexuality to the same degree men do. Miss Higgins was branded as sex-obsessed and had derogative language blasted about her both on air and in the media, whereas her male counterparts did not receive the same for their sexual remarks.
Dating shows are not only damaging for the toxic behaviour that they perpetuate, but they are also harmful due to the producers not doing enough to include marginalised groups. American dating show, The Bachelor, has always attracted controversy over the blatant racial insensitivity on the show. Producers need to do more to address racist and homophobic narratives that are exhibited on air, as they have damaging impacts on marginalised communities. Individuals may feel unable to enter these spaces for fear of being racialised or experiencing homophobic slander. Many dating shows explain that they employ a colour-blind casting technique to help increase the representation within the show. However, incorporating a colour-blind technique means that POC are expected to exist in a race-less space. The answer to this problematic issue is not to avoid all conversations about race on our screens but to shine a light on the apparent exclusive nature of the shows and open discussions regarding it. The Netflix show, Love is Blind has combated this issue by addressing race on their show by opening discussions between contestants that are informative and impactful, thus, attempting to change the discourse.
So, what is the answer? Humans love the idea of love, so when we see love playing out on TV, we get addicted due to the release of dopamine that we experience watching the shows. However, more representation and producer awareness is needed to protect both the contestants and viewers from the toxic behavioural traits that exist partly on these shows. We must open a dialogue regarding representation on the shows to make them inclusive and supportive of all individuals in society.
Photo Caption: Image of graffiti heart (Credit: Unsplash).
