I have an Un-Cunning Plan

Scoring political points in an epic game of Grand Theft History.

IMOGEN EDWARDS, BA History

General Gove uses new cannon fodder.

Source:

http://www.painters-online.co.uk/Gallery/David-Roy-Mullins-General-Melchett/_ga62639_pg1

 For most of the country, the centennial of the beginning of World War One is something that holds much trepidation, mainly because Cameron has declared it a “commemoration” similar to that of the Golden Jubilee.  Michael Gove, the Education Secretary, has also gotten involved in this omni-shambles. Condemning the “liberal media’s” portrayal of World War One–the evil rich sending the plebs into battle–as false, in a voice of blubbering incandescence not dissimilar to the character General Melchett in the BBC sitcom Blackadder (which he was also slagging off).

This of course has heralded some very serious questions: What should I wear to a war party? Can I buy bunting with tanks on them? Will there be matching bayonet balloons? When I host my street party complete with trench cake and poppy coloured tea, should I invite those foreigners next door?

So let’s talk about the other people who haven’t been invited to the street party. At one point, 1 million Indians fought on the front lines. The West Indies regiment who arrived in 1915 have been blocked from our history. Women working in the munitions factories were told to return to their homes without the vote. Probably to bake some cake.

So instead we are presented with a white washed version of history, no brown people, no women, no poor people. And yet all of these things could make history relate to the modern day for kids in diverse Britain. They are, after all, the ones who have to learn this stuff.

 The whole remembrance of the First World War has now become a national masturbatory orgy; where flag waving patriots clamber on top of gingham covered long tables to congratulate each other on “our victory.” If (like me) you have grown up with the football mantra of “Two World Wars and a World Cup” you know that our generation seems no closer to reconciling with Europe–which is another group who will not be invited to the merry sing-songs and wholesome games of pin-the-tail-on-the-Kaiser.

You would have thought that official statements by Germany expressing concern would have spurned remorse. Well, no. Which is a really nice way to say thank you to the one country that has not succumbed to the current financial crisis and whose trade we so heavily rely on; it’s not like we need their assistance in one of the worst recessions in 50 years. Must send them a slice of cake.