From Tolstoy to YouTube: The Media That Shaped My Twenties
Written by Yusra Choudhry, MA Cultural Studies.
This summer I turned 30, and between the cake and candles, I took stock of what had shaped my twenties.
Many of the lessons came not just from experience, but also from the films, books, and screens that had kept me company along the way. These weren’t things I merely consumed; they taught me how to look at the world, at others, and myself. Four, in particular, helped me see differently.
I. Discomfort: Saving Face:
‘Saving Face’ is a documentary about women in Pakistan who survived acid attacks. I encountered it whilst writing my undergraduate dissertation on femicide in South Asia. It was painful viewing, and I wanted to look away more than once. In not doing so, I learned about the necessity of discomfort and my privilege that had kept me detached from the violence many women live with. I have carried the resilience of these women with me ever since, and the discomfort too; a reminder to not look away.
"This summer I turned 30, and between the cake and candles, I took stock of what had shaped my twenties."
II. Loyalty: Promising Young Woman:
Emerald Fennell’s film is having a resurgence online, newly relevant amid the sexual assault allegations at Cornell University. Dividing opinion at the time, the film’s brilliance comes from Cassie, played by Carey Mulligan, and her refusal to let the people and institutions that failed her friend forget. I both recognised and took refuge in that loyalty. My female friendships were the defining relationships of my twenties, and I suspect I am not alone in this. In a world that so often doubts women, the film made me see our love and support for one another for what it is: the greatest form of resistance.
III. Growth: Anna Karenina
Having evaded COVID for most of the pandemic, I caught it in the final stretch and found myself isolating for a week with the only book to hand: Anna Karenina. When I read it as a teenager, I judged Anna as selfish. A decade later, I read about a woman trapped by society that punished her for wanting more and yet wanting it anyway. Anna hadn’t changed. I had. The book reignited my love for reading and taught me that what we see often depends on who we are when we look. Anna led me back to the girl who had loved books first, now with more understanding and compassion.
IV. Attention: Eva Meloche, Alia Zaita, and Michelle Choi
Going from Tolstoy to YouTubers feels on brand for a piece about my twenties. That isn’t a slight to Eva, Alia, and Michelle; their work taught me as much as any classic. Their vlogs are self-portraits, made from the things they choose to notice and celebrate. Watching them made me pay attention not only to the things I love, but also to understand why. They taught me that curation isn’t just a hobby; it’s a creative and critical act.
These four chapters were teaching me the same thing: paying attention isn’t passive or fixed. If you’re at the start of your twenties, I hope this piece inspires you to notice what’s keeping you company. Ask what it’s teaching you. And don’t be afraid to look again.
